If You Were Absent On Sunday

If you were absent from church on Sunday, here's what you might have missed: the sermon, from convicted child molester, Warren Jeffs, also a Mormon pastor, delivering his sermon via cell phone! No joke; while other convicted child molesters are shunned by the public and ordered by the courts to leave their victims alone, and stay away from the communities where their crimes were committed, this Mormon minister thought the laws and court orders did not apply to him. So he continued to address his congregation, anyway, after claiming in court that his abuses of children made God and Jesus happy. At this juncture, I should remind everyone that he would not have been able to do this without assistance, and since he has this kind of assistance to begin violating the terms of his probation before he is even on probation, Warren Jeffs probably will never stop molesting little girls.

As a result of Warren Jeffs's scorn of the law, he has, forthwith, been stopped from preaching sermons to his congregations because he is not allowed to talk on the phone from prison anymore. So if you were absent from church on Sunday, you would not have heard the gospel according to Jeffs, anyway. Thank the Gods!

Jesus probably isn't taking calls from Warren Jeffs, either!