To a young lady whose extended-former-step-family has been grim and intimidating..... if you are legit, I think I know where you are coming from. No; it certainly isn't easy to be a good person surrounded by bad people, or people who want to cover for (I think the technical term is "enable") bad people. It's a terrible, frightening, heartbreaking, and lonely position. Not many people understand, either, because of the middle class, materialistic koolaide that so many people have been drinking for so many generations. This notion that you "owe" your siblings, cousins, or other relations the "loyalty" of looking the other way when they commit minor crimes is what I'm talking about. Then, you "owe" them the loyalty of allowing them to get away with more serious crimes, too. Then, you suddenly grow up and realize that people other than the perpetrators have been hurt. Next, you even realize that children have been compromised, hurt, or killed by these people who want you to keep the family secrets.
You wake up one morning, realizing that your life cannot operate the same way as the lives of the dysfunctional members of your immediate and extended family members. You wish you didn't have to see them anymore, and you don't want them to hug or touch you. The fact that you share a surname in common with some of them is an embarrassment to you. You cringe whenever you see a policeman near your door, because you wonder about whom you are going to get supeanoed to witness in court against this time. You are beyond tired of it. And speaking of witnessing in court, everyone from your parents to the person who's in trouble this time is practically threatening you.....you had better keep your mouth shut......
Suppose, this time, it involves murder or human trafficking? Yes; it's possible for a dysfunctional family to be deluded enough to demand that everyone sweep those crimes under the carpet, as well. But do they really care about you? Do they care if you can never get a security clearence for a job you have always wanted, because you are covering for them? Do they care if no one nice will ever want to date you, because you are involved with them? Do they care if you end up going to jail for contempt of court, because you were loyal to them, and not to your conscience? Do they care if your children, or your childrens' safety, is compromised, because of their dangerous lifestyles and associations? Do they even give a rip about the healthy relationships and pursuits that you may wish to enjoy, over the course of your life, that will not happen, but for your involvement with them? In my experience, and sadly, I have had some; the answer is "no". They don't care.
I first noticed your online presence last week. I was skeptical, thinking you might be another troll, throwing in your two cents. I looked at your comments, and at the situation you discussed with a friend of mine, and decided that you may very well be for real. If that's the case, you have some serious choices to make, not only for a very young crime victim and a young adult bystander, but for yourself. I just want to encourage you not to let a bully scare you. If you discreetly do the right thing, and talk to the right people, and the situation at hand gets resolved, many people will be very grateful to you. No; things will never be the same between you and certain individuals close to this case, but then.....are things terribly positive and enjoyable for you as they sit? It's an awful choice to have to make, and I don't envy you, but I will support you and help you in any way I can if you need it after you have made the productive, positive choices I know you would love to make. No; things will never be the same, yet that is part of a great blessing that you can one day appreciate. And yes, life will go on. I promise.
You wake up one morning, realizing that your life cannot operate the same way as the lives of the dysfunctional members of your immediate and extended family members. You wish you didn't have to see them anymore, and you don't want them to hug or touch you. The fact that you share a surname in common with some of them is an embarrassment to you. You cringe whenever you see a policeman near your door, because you wonder about whom you are going to get supeanoed to witness in court against this time. You are beyond tired of it. And speaking of witnessing in court, everyone from your parents to the person who's in trouble this time is practically threatening you.....you had better keep your mouth shut......
Suppose, this time, it involves murder or human trafficking? Yes; it's possible for a dysfunctional family to be deluded enough to demand that everyone sweep those crimes under the carpet, as well. But do they really care about you? Do they care if you can never get a security clearence for a job you have always wanted, because you are covering for them? Do they care if no one nice will ever want to date you, because you are involved with them? Do they care if you end up going to jail for contempt of court, because you were loyal to them, and not to your conscience? Do they care if your children, or your childrens' safety, is compromised, because of their dangerous lifestyles and associations? Do they even give a rip about the healthy relationships and pursuits that you may wish to enjoy, over the course of your life, that will not happen, but for your involvement with them? In my experience, and sadly, I have had some; the answer is "no". They don't care.
I first noticed your online presence last week. I was skeptical, thinking you might be another troll, throwing in your two cents. I looked at your comments, and at the situation you discussed with a friend of mine, and decided that you may very well be for real. If that's the case, you have some serious choices to make, not only for a very young crime victim and a young adult bystander, but for yourself. I just want to encourage you not to let a bully scare you. If you discreetly do the right thing, and talk to the right people, and the situation at hand gets resolved, many people will be very grateful to you. No; things will never be the same between you and certain individuals close to this case, but then.....are things terribly positive and enjoyable for you as they sit? It's an awful choice to have to make, and I don't envy you, but I will support you and help you in any way I can if you need it after you have made the productive, positive choices I know you would love to make. No; things will never be the same, yet that is part of a great blessing that you can one day appreciate. And yes, life will go on. I promise.
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