A Zombie Apocalypse In Kansas?

Today, Governor Brownback officially declared that October is Zombie Preparedness Month here in Kansas. He did it with a straight face, too. His reasoning is that if Kansans are prepared for zombies, they should be prepared for anything. That's an interesting notion, but do zombies really compare to tornadoes, floods, and earthquakes? And if they do, doesn't Kris Kobach (R-Kansas) have some helpful ideas, such as self deportation for zombies?

A "zombie" is a corpse that has been brought back to life, according to the mythos of the Voudon folk religions of Africa. A legendary zombie has no will of it's own, and exists to only follow the direction of the person who enslaves it. As a somewhat realistic practice in times past in Haiti, certain drugs, capable of creating brain damage, were occasionally administered by less scrupulous practitioners of folk religions. This could produce a "zombie-like" state in a victim. As a result, such practices were outlawed in Haiti in the late 1800's. It all seems somewhat comparable to modern children on medications for ADHD, and brainwashed, even without ADHD medications, in public schools! Perhaps that's why Governor Brownback feels that there is a need to be prepared for zombies........ the influx of graduates from our nation's public schools!

There will be an event Saturday from 10 AM to 2:30 PM in Topeka at the Crestview Shelter House on Sunga Drive to learn more about zombie preparedness. The first three hundred people will receive free "disaster-on-the-go"packs. Somehow, it seems unlikely that Brownback has considered including any counterspells in these packs; either for Kobach's legislation, Kansas public schools, or zombies.