I was going to award this month's Barney Fife award to the police in Linn County, Kansas, for making a drug bust with no actual arrests, but a last minute contender threw it's hat in the ring.
My nephew, James, from Minnesota, visited us in Kansas for a couple of days. Yesterday, he left, at around 2:30 in the afternoon. Before he left, I put some fresh oregano and basil from my garden and some dried oregano in a paper bag for him to take to his mother, my sister-in-law. I have several gardens, and I usually trade herbs and produce with friends and neighbors. I also bake pies and cookies, and I am known for the best potato skins in town. I also make the best meatloaf in this part of Kansas.
While driving through Harrison, Missouri, my nephew got pulled over for speeding. James thought it was only going to be a matter of signing the ticket and leaving, which it should have been. But no! The police wanted to search James's car. James said "no", which is the only appropriate answer to give any government official wanting access to one's home, car, or person without a warrent signed by a judge. Then, the Missouri police decided that James's refusal to allow illegal search and seizure was probable cause.......for something......but nothing specific, you understand. The handcuffed him, mirandaized him, and put him in the back of the paddy wagon, and made him wait for drug dogs! And when the drug dogs got there, one of them pulled the bag of oregano and basil out of the car in it's mouth! The police insisted that it was.........drum roll.........guess, people, guess..........marijuana! Poor James tried to tell them what it was, but they moved on to searching his trunk, removing his removing parts of his engine, going through his cell phone data, and demanding to know where he got these "drugs"!
Just a word about oregano and basil; they both have very distinctive smells, and both will remind one of pizza or spaghetti.
When James stuck to his story about his aunt giving him oregano and basil to take back to his mother in Minnesota, they "field tested" the basil, which, they told James, was positve for LSD. (where the HELL is the eye-rolley when I need it?) The oregano was too, but to a lesser degree. When they got back to the station, James was still sticking with the basil and oregano story, because honesty really IS the best policy, even when the cops are pricks, and they confiscated the oregano and basil I tried to send to my sister-in-law and cut him loose. If they had really found LSD in the basil, would they have turned him loose? Is there really a field test for LSD on basil leaves? I doubt it. But if they find anything at all illegal about my basil, which I started from cuttings I bought at Walmart, btw, they're gonna descend on James in Minnesota. They told him so. They also kept the oregano and basil as evidence. And one cop still believes the oregano is actually pot.
So.........I'm kinda leaning toward the Harrison County, Missouri cops as the winners of this month's Barney Fife Award. They worked hard for it. The good people of Missouri can rest easy, knowing that no delicious spices will cross their borders unapprehended.
Hey! Missouri Police! Get your heads out of your asses!
My nephew, James, from Minnesota, visited us in Kansas for a couple of days. Yesterday, he left, at around 2:30 in the afternoon. Before he left, I put some fresh oregano and basil from my garden and some dried oregano in a paper bag for him to take to his mother, my sister-in-law. I have several gardens, and I usually trade herbs and produce with friends and neighbors. I also bake pies and cookies, and I am known for the best potato skins in town. I also make the best meatloaf in this part of Kansas.
While driving through Harrison, Missouri, my nephew got pulled over for speeding. James thought it was only going to be a matter of signing the ticket and leaving, which it should have been. But no! The police wanted to search James's car. James said "no", which is the only appropriate answer to give any government official wanting access to one's home, car, or person without a warrent signed by a judge. Then, the Missouri police decided that James's refusal to allow illegal search and seizure was probable cause.......for something......but nothing specific, you understand. The handcuffed him, mirandaized him, and put him in the back of the paddy wagon, and made him wait for drug dogs! And when the drug dogs got there, one of them pulled the bag of oregano and basil out of the car in it's mouth! The police insisted that it was.........drum roll.........guess, people, guess..........marijuana! Poor James tried to tell them what it was, but they moved on to searching his trunk, removing his removing parts of his engine, going through his cell phone data, and demanding to know where he got these "drugs"!
Just a word about oregano and basil; they both have very distinctive smells, and both will remind one of pizza or spaghetti.
When James stuck to his story about his aunt giving him oregano and basil to take back to his mother in Minnesota, they "field tested" the basil, which, they told James, was positve for LSD. (where the HELL is the eye-rolley when I need it?) The oregano was too, but to a lesser degree. When they got back to the station, James was still sticking with the basil and oregano story, because honesty really IS the best policy, even when the cops are pricks, and they confiscated the oregano and basil I tried to send to my sister-in-law and cut him loose. If they had really found LSD in the basil, would they have turned him loose? Is there really a field test for LSD on basil leaves? I doubt it. But if they find anything at all illegal about my basil, which I started from cuttings I bought at Walmart, btw, they're gonna descend on James in Minnesota. They told him so. They also kept the oregano and basil as evidence. And one cop still believes the oregano is actually pot.
So.........I'm kinda leaning toward the Harrison County, Missouri cops as the winners of this month's Barney Fife Award. They worked hard for it. The good people of Missouri can rest easy, knowing that no delicious spices will cross their borders unapprehended.
Hey! Missouri Police! Get your heads out of your asses!
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