In Case You Slept Through Church This Sunday

In Case You Weren't In Church This Sunday

In Case You Missed Church This Sunday

Here's the Easter Bunny! Happy Easter!

In Case You Didn't Bother With Church This Sunday

In Case You Weren't In Church This Sunday

In Case You Slept Through Church On Sunday

In Case You Missed Church On Sunday

You can probably catch the sermon after the sermon if you check all the reverend's favorite places to pick up hookers, such as the cemetery!

In Case You Didn't Bother With Church On Sunday

Whoa! I really don't think it's blasphemy unless it's one's own religion, and if one wishes a religion devoted to sin, the christian dogmas have many offerings from which to choose. This is some serious hate mail!

In Case Your Pastor Was Retarded In Church This Sunday

At least stop mocking your own traditions! I don't really judge you guys, but as long as I know what you Frankfort christian types are really all about, I don't think I have anything in common with most of you, and I certainly don't want to spend any time around you or make the mistake of trusting you. It's more a matter of protecting my children and myself than it is a matter of passing judgement. One thing that someone should really point out to you folks, though, is this: most Pagans, along with ardent believers in other religions, show more respect for their holy writings and traditions than I've seen among Christians who attend any of the churches in Frankfort, Kansas.

In Case You Skipped Church This Sunday

In Case You Didn't Bother With Church This Sunday

In Case You Slept Through Church This Sunday

In case you slept through church this Sunday, perhaps these questions can wake you up!

In Case You Weren't In Church On Sunday

 

Look! It's that priest in Frankfort, Kansas who thinks it's okay for a teacher to "just make a mistake" and leave a child by herself, four miles away from school! It's all good, though; if the child had never been found, confession would have made it all better, right? 

I really hate these people.

In Case You Slept Through Church This Sunday

If you slept through church on Sunday, you probably were not in Vatican City, where a topless woman recently kidnapped Baby Jesus from the manger at the nativity and got hauled away by a cop. The cop did not shoot her, by the way. 

How come no one ever gets naked and steals Baby Jesus out of a manger when I'm around? I could use the entertainment!

In Case You Missed Church This Sunday

I will hand over to the Peoples' Atheist today.

In Case You Didn't Bother With Church On Sunday

 

To those Northeast Kansans who think that our forefathers founded this country on Christianity, suck on this! No one who loves freedom and common sense wants to see Christianity taken seriously. Allowing religion in public schools is about as un-American as one can get, if Thomas Jefferson is to be taken seriously.

 

In Case You Weren't In Church On Sunday

He may grant absolution to the reprobate who redeems himself with offerings of canned tuna.

If You Didn't Bother With Church On Sunday

If You Slept Through Church On Sunday

If you found yourself dozing off in church on Sunday, the cause may be found in your own intellectual curiosity!

In Case You Missed Church On Sunday

If you missed church on Sunday, it really isn't a big deal.