If I were a parent, ♪♫♪da-dee-ya-dee-ya-dee-ya-dee-ya-dee-ya-dee,
I would hold my daughter when I please,
If I could have custody!♪
I wouldn't have to tell lies!
Da-dee-ya-doo-ya-dee-ya-doo-ya-diy-ya-diy!
All day long I'd be a normal mom,
With no lawyers billing me!♪♫
I'd live without my parents,♫♪♪
In my own house without reporters hounding me!
All day long I'd be a normal mom,
If I could have custody!♫
I didn't want to work hard,
Da-dee-ya-doo-a-dee-ya-doo-a-doo-a-day,♫
I just wanted everything my way,
All I wanna do is play!♫♫
I'd take my kid when I wanted, straight from the gym,
Regardless of the orders of the court,♫♪♫
Thumbing my nose at all folks who work!
I'd drink in bars all the time with anyone I wanted,
Belching as I drove my kids to school,
Passing out before I bought my fuel!♫
But...court who snubbed me for the crook I am,
Would it spoil some vast and legal plan,
If I were a parent, once again?♫♫♪♫
Waaaa.......♫♪♫
If the court would give me custody,
And if reporters would stop hounding me,
Please don't make me own my own mistakes,
Growing up is such a big headache,
For a party girl like me!♫♪♫
Ahhh....If I were a parent♫
Da-dee-ya-doo-a-dee-ya-doo-a-dee-ya-diy♪
I would act as if I had some sense,
And I'd try real hard to mend the fence,
So I could be mommy once again,
If I were a true parent!♫♪♫
Give it up, Terribot!