In Case You Slept Through Church This Sunday

If you slept through church on Sunday, you probably were not in Vatican City, where a topless woman recently kidnapped Baby Jesus from the manger at the nativity and got hauled away by a cop. The cop did not shoot her, by the way. 

How come no one ever gets naked and steals Baby Jesus out of a manger when I'm around? I could use the entertainment!

Using A Taxi As A Getaway Car

Fleeing the crime scene in a taxi? And actually getting all the way to Omaha, Nebraska from Lawrence, Kansas before getting arrested? Antonio Gaitan actually tried it, after robbing Truity Credit Union in Lawrence. Fortunately for the driver, police believed him when he said he had no idea he was helping Gaitan abscond with money from a robbery!

Almost equally funny are two Minnesota burglars who accidently butt-dialed 911 while burglarizing a Meineke Car Care in Minneapolis. The dispatcher answered, stayed on the line, and heard the two men discuss the crime in progress from the crime scene! Almost needless to say, police were able to find them. The defense attorneys will probably try to get the phone call barred from evidence......

To Ruth Malette No Longer A Rader

Hey Malette, did you ever explain what you were doing so close to the Lighthouse on April 27, 2013? It WAS a crime scene, you know; and you were there when it happened. You called me from the location, but failed to tell me the whole story. My phone company keeps excellent records. Oh, by the way, did you tell Laura about your association with this matter before all of your crap with her, this past summer? I don't know, for sure, how low on integrity Laura is from day to day, but if she knew about your crime scene shenanigans in Oregon, she has an obligation to contact authorities and hold you behind bars until they come and get your smelly soma. You freaked when I contacted the Coast Guard, didn't you?

Are incidents like this the reason you do not get on with the rest of your large family in De Tour Village? And did you ask for any help from Laura in returning there? She might have called one of your siblings for you, if you had been honest with her about who you are! Involvement with crime scenes wouldn't be the reason you avoid your old stomping grounds, would it?

Stop using people. The past can make a very interesting story for anyone against whom you have, shall we say, been unsuccessful!