How The Pigs Stole Christmas

Sheriff David Groves, of Cherokee County, Kansas, decided to help Missouri out with a bench warrant for some guy named Doug Alexius. Alexius had missed court for a misdemeanor charge, and getting him back to wherever he was supposed to be was a matter of top priority. The pigs in Kansas have stated over and over again that Alexius was wanted for a felony, but upon closer scrutiny, it has become clear that this was only a bench warrant for missing court. To fast forward to December 16 of 2015, Groves decided that since a woman named Nita Lane had once dated Mr. Alexius, he must have hidden in her home. So he sent a nice fat pig to knock on her Galena, Kansas door. She put a clothespin on her nose (not really, but she should have) and told the pig that Mr. Alexius did not live at her home, was no longer a friend or acquaintance, and was not inside the home at the time. The pig came back with an outdated infrared camera, and without stopping to read the directions for use, snapped some shots of the house. As it happened, there were sources of heat inside! Imagine that, in the middle of December! Mr. Piggie knocked on the door again, and informed Ms. Lane and her children that they had to evacuate the premises while he and his SWAT team goons "negotiated" with the "fugitive from justice".

                          This is where Kansas cops and the FBI tore into the upstairs of
                                 Nita Lane's house. The broke a bunch of windows, too.

Ms. Lane gathered up her children and vacated, while repeatedly telling the pigs that their quarry was not on the premises. The pigs responded by spending nineteen hours calling out epithets and threats to an empty house. Finally, after an entire night, followed by the next day, of threatening to "rotate his officers out", Sheriff Groves and the FBI decided it was time to give up and go have doughnuts and coffee. While searching, they poked holes in the side of the house, used a wrecker to smash the upstairs, threw the childrens' toys and personal belongings everywhere, tore apart the Christmas tree and stomped on all the ornaments, and threw the Christmas tree out the window.

The FBI decided that all the windows, the siding, the walls, and the structure of the house, itself, could be fixed with $8,000.00, which they graciously offered to the now homeless Ms. Lane and her children. To be completely real here, $8,000.00 probably wouldn't even get the family a new roof, let alone fix all the other damage done by the police in Kansas. No mention was made of reimbursing the family for the furniture, or for the childrens' toys. A gofundme page has been set up to help.

We now hold fundraisers for the victims of police violence. Is there anyone out there, still, who does not understand why policemen are known colloquially as "pigs''? It might also be worth a mention that despite the status of Doug Alexius as a fugitive, The FBI and Kansas law enforcement do not appear terribly interested in media coverage to assist in his capture.