Terri Horman's New Welcome Sign

Terri Horman is finally divorced. Rather than mediate an agreement with her ex-husband, Kaine Horman, for shared custody or visitation of their five year old daughter, she avoided court as much as possible over the past three and a half years during which they have been separated, and refused to testify or explain her failed polygraphs in the ongoing missing persons case of her former stepson, Kyron Horman. Kyron disappeared from his school in Portland, Oregon, in 2010, when he was seven, and Terri is the last person reported to have seen him. Rather than assist in the effort to find Kyron, Terri and her parents, Carol and Larry Moulton, who live in Roseburg, Oregon, have opted to stay as far away from any helpful actions as possible.

Now that the divorce is finally final....sort of......custody and visitation still need to be worked out, there is one completely unusual feature in all of this: in addition to never actively seeking out the company of most other people, Terri Horman has never actively sought out the company of her daughter since she and Kaine split. While she failed two polygraphs and her versions (note the plural) of events changed at least half a dozen times concerning the day Kyron disappeared, she has not been charged with any crime; therefore, the restraining order Kaine took out against her should have simply expired, and not been renewed. In almost every domestic violence case involving a restraining or a protective order, (95% of domestic violence victims are women) the victim will be required to fight vigorously for the order, which, if granted, will last for a month or so, during which she will be required to exchange custody of her children with the respondent despite the order. After that, the order will finally expire, if the respondent does not re-offend. Why didn't matters proceed this way in the Horman case? Terri certainly has had the right, from the beginning, to fight the restrictions on seeing her daughter, even if Kaine did not want to see Terri. In a worst case scenario, a court appointed neutral party could have been appointed to assist in the custody exchanges or visitations. Most attorneys recommend this to respondents in Terri Horman's position; why didn't Terri's attorney insist upon it? What could be so terribly all-encompassing to Terri that she would forgo contact with her own daughter? And why would Terri decline any custodial time with her daughter during the child's formative years? Is her daughter no longer welcome in her life?

Speaking of "welcome", Terri Horman and her parents have erected a new sign at their home. During the month of November, Kyron's mother held a vigil in Roseburg, only to find that Terri's mother called the police, because she did not want anyone gathering near or in front of her home carrying signs bearing Kyron's picture. There was no wrongdoing in being close to the Moultons' home, and no one was sanctioned, but there is now a "No Trespassing" sign in front of the house. How incredibly welcoming. It is obviously directed to anyone involved in Kyron's missing persons case; one of his natural parents was the target. But to whom else is it directed? Anyone involved in the effort to find Kyron? Kyron's other parent? If so, how could visitation possibly take place? Extended visits, should Terri ever fight for them and get them, generally take place at the noncustodial parent's residence. Can Kaine even take her there without being accused of trespassing? As Kyron's father, the words, "Terri, where's Kyron?" are more than likely to leave his lips every time he sees her, until she clears up those failed polygraphs and multiple conflicting stories.

Suppose Terri's daughter, herself, wants to know what happened to Kyron? She is, after all, Kyron's sister. The Moultons seem to think that she will never wonder about Kyron. As an only child, Terri apparently doesn't understand the love siblings have for one another. It only makes sense that Kyron's sister will ask about him, one day; and try to find him. Does the "No Trespassing" sign apply to her presence, as well?

Terri Horman Still Thinks The World Revolves Around Her

While perusing a couple of different Oregon sources the other day for news about the missing persons case of ten year old Kyron Horman, who disappeared from his school in Portland on June 4, of 2010, when he was seven; I noticed a rather nasty and one-sided comment that was clearly made by someone who is quite angry with the general public, with anyone who wishes Kyron's family well, and with anyone who would help search for Kyron. While there are always trolls and "haters" on any newspaper forum, this comment, from Oregonlive, made me think for a couple of reasons. First, the commenter makes a reference to a vigil that was held well over a year ago, and made some statements about an incident that took place during that vigil, but was not publicized......one would have had to be physically present in order to cite the particular details mentioned here; second, this commenter appears to seriously expect those who love Kyron, even his mother, to forget about him after awhile and give up the search! Here's an excerpt:

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"I think people traveling from several different states to demonstrate their hate for {Terri} just a block away from her home, is a bit hateful. Do you see that as a loving thing to do? How about when they went up on to the porch of the Moultons home and looked into the windows? Hateful or loving? Maybe they were hoping to see Kyron inside?"
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Hmmm....hey commenter; how do you KNOW the states from which any of those people hailed? The media barely covered that particular vigil. It did not mention much about the people involved, and certainly did not cover their personal information. Nor did the media give any factoids about the Moultons' house, or whose doorbell was rung, or who responded. If you have this information, you were present at the time. Why didn't Terri Horman or any of the Moultons take some flyers and join? There was, after all, an invitation extended for the Moultons to do so!

Why would you even rant, Whoever-You-Are, (does your name begin with the letter "T"?) about whether the gesture was loving or hateful toward Terri? Are you thinking that the only reason anyone ever looked for Kyron after he disappeared was to make Terri Horman upset? Or to express "hate" for her? If so, you are crazily mistaken! Sure, lots of people hate mentally ill, selfish, lazy, cellulite-covered, overly dependent, non-working child abusers; and quite a few people do not favor Terri Horman, but that's not the reason for the search for Kyron! There's a search on for Kyron because he's a little boy who disappeared on his stepmother's watch, and because over two years have gone by without his being found. That's why people knocked on doors in Roseburg, Oregon, and passed out flyers with Kyron's picture. It was a gesture of love for Kyron, not a gesture of hate for Kyron's sometime stepmother. The world does not revolve around Terri Horman. That said, let me also point out that the gesture was a loving gesture because everyone passing out the flyers loved doing it. One thing would have made them love it more: finding Kyron that day.

The gentle commenter went on to complain about Desiree Young, Kyron's mother, who, with assistance from donors, posted a billboard in Southern Oregon with Kyron's picture. It seems that the effort of posting a billboard on the highway, where it can be seen by commuters, has also rubbed this person the wrong way. Such measures are common during missing persons cases, and if Terri Horman took this personally, she needs to see, once again, that things other than herself are important, and Kyron's mother put up the billboard to keep Kyron's case in the public perception.

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"Do you think the billboard Desiree put up on the freeway was a loving thing to do? Kyron, we're going to track you down? Did she think Kyron goes to work everyday in his car and drives past that sign? Or was it a loving way for her to tell Terri how much she loved her son? Or to just torment Terri out of frustration?
What about Desiree passing out flyers in Roseburg and asking everyone to remember that Terri lives in Roseberg and should be shunned by the community. Do you think that was another one of those loving things people do for Kyron?"

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Oh no! Did Desiree Young pass out flyers? My Goddess, what is the world coming to? You're damn straight she passed out flyers, Whoever-You-Are! And, yes; it was an act of love! None of it was done to "torment Terri". Desiree Young very likely does not have time to torment Terri. She's trying to find Kyron! Had Terri Horman thought about Kyron from the very beginning, passed out flyers, helped with searches, answered questions, told the truth, passed polygraphs, and been available to help when Desiree was in Roseburg with flyers, it is very likely that no one would have suggested shunning Terri Horman. The sad truth is, Desiree Young was discouraged by the fact that many of the people in Roseburg had not even heard about the Kyron Horman missing persons case, despite all of the publicity it received in Portland. Kyron's stepmother, her parents, and his stepbrother ALL lived in Roseburg at the time Desiree Young passed out flyers there. Why didn't Roseburg already know about Kyron?

No, Terri; none of the efforts to find Kyron have been all about you. The world does not revolve around, you, either.

Quotes are taken from comments found following the coverage of the Kyron Horman case in Oregonlive from January 31 to February 4 of this year.